What an eye opener

So last night I spent pretty much the whole night in emerge (gallbladder attack, not what this blog is about) and while I was there I met this incredible woman and her precious daughter Emma. I recognised the signs of Autism right away, and thought a good opportunity to strike up conversation, I love talking to other parents under the umbrella, It brings a lot of insight, and offers encouragement and reassurement(word?). Well I certainly got more then I bargained for last night. You see Emma at only the age of 3 months was diagnosed with disease that causes benign tumours to grow throughout her entire body in the multiples. On top of that Emma has severe low functioning non verbal autism, she is just 14. It was all I could do not to cry while her mother was telling me some of the challenges she has had to face over the years, and then it was my turn to speak, suddenly my challenges with the boys seemed petty, small and insignificant. I looked at the woman and told her how I could not imagine going through some of her challenges and that my heart goes out to her, what she said next broke my heart. She said that knowing the tumours were not cancerous she would gladly trade in the autism and keep the tumours if it meant that for just 1 day she would be able to have a conversation with her daughter. That was it, let the tears roll because I was bawling. We then talked for hours about our children our challenges, our triumphs and the sheer Joy we feel when our children succeed the simplest task. As her husband got up to go home and get some sleep he looked at his wife so lovingly, so compassionately, so understanding, and she returned the look equally and it melted my heart, I began to feel guilty, guilty for getting frustrated with the kids, guilty for not trying harder to understand them, guilty for wishing they were more "normal" and most of all guilty for taking a lot of my "Autism" frustrations out on my husband. Emmas mom taught me a very valuable lesson last night, one that I know and have said time and time again, but was not living...Love is the strength in your relationship with your children and spouse, be patient with the kids, they really can not understand why your getting worked up over pooh on the walls, its just like finger paints after all, breath, because tomorrow is a new day, with its own set of challenges and most of all NEVER EVER GIVE UP! That being said I want to publicly say, Aaron I love you with all my heart and soul, you are my world my rock, I am sorry I always take my frustrations out on you, and I thank you for being understanding of that and never giving up! I know we both have days where we want to just throw in the towel and run, but at the end of the day when we finally lay down to sleep, knowing you are there restores my faith in us, waking up to you in the morning reminds me that together we are stronger and we can do this, we will and are doing the very best we know how and together we are raising 2 of the most awesome little boys the world will ever know (and Hope too!) Thanks for reading everyone and God Bless!!